Week 3 of our Best Sex Ever series was great look at the present and future thinking of how sex impacts our lives. We began by talking about small picture living vs. big picture living and then used those terms to define 4 life altering dimensions of sex.
Two Ways to Look at Sex…
1. Small Picture: NOW We begin to follow our every urge about sex. We are constantly seeking how and where do I get it from next. We also believe that oral sex is a “now” thing and has no real consequences for our future.
2. Big Picture: FUTURE This type of living is about our future marriage, spouse, and sex. For example; living in the now is about how I need ice cream today. And future living is about what will eating all of this ice cream do to my body?
Four Life Altering Dimensions…
1. Spiritual – Now Living: WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT MY FAITH? We like God and what He has done and will do for us but we want to separate Him from our physical relationships. Psalm 14:1 tells us no one is good and that foolish people are corrupt in their action/ We have to understand that God is our moral authority and our judge so we need to seek out His advice when making decisions about sexuality and how our faith is intertwined with that. Hebrews 4:13 tells us God sees our everything. He knows us from inside to the outside. we are completely exposed to Him and we must eventually give an account for what we have done. God’s love allows us to choose between following Him and turning our back on Him. Romans 1:21-22, 25-27 talks about how the people turned their back on God by worshiping creation and performing sexual immorality. Future Living: HOW CAN I BE SPIRITUAL? The more you draw closer to God, the closer you get to God. It becomes easier to turn from temptation. We need to make our life about intimacy with God and not intimacy with others.
2. Physical – Now Living: HOW FAR IS TOO FAR? Better yet, the question is how far until it’s a sin? God doesn’t have some sort of chart with a list of things are right and a list of things that are wrong. If it is sexual immorality then it is wrong. Why do we always ask, “how far is too far?” Would we take a can of gas and see how close we could get to a fire? No, we would stay away as far as we can. We need to quit seeing how close we can get to sin and instead run the opposite way of it. Future Living: HOW CAN I BE SELF-CONTROLLED? What are the boundaries I need to set? How do I honor God with my life? 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 discusses how God’s will for you is to stay away from sexual sin. There are 3 definitions of sex: medical – any genital contact, God – stay away from sexual sin, and world – intercourse between two individuals. Oral sex is sex which is contrary to popular belief. It has sex in the title for goodness sakes. Are we more concerned with technically being a virgin or with trying to remain pure? It”s a heart condition that drives our answer to that.
3. Mental – Sex education is about how-to put on a condom and look at some pictures of STD’s to scare you out of having sex. The world doesn’t talk about the mental part of sex. You’ll remember the details of your sexual encounters throughout your life. These memories will unload during your marriage. We need to protect our minds. If we are consumed with pornography then we will always be until repentance and restoration happen. Now Living: SHOULDN’T I FOLLOW MY URGES? No, you shouldn’t. Urges are immediate desires and temptations are struggles that spark contemplation. Future Living: SHOULDN’T I THINK ABOUT WHAT”S GOOD? Yes, you should. Males think about sex every 19 seconds. What do you fill your mind with? We need to replace our sexual lusts for the Word of God. Philippians 4:8 leads us to think about things that are god, right, pure, and admirable.
4. Social – Now Living: HOW CAN I GET SOME? We are trying to fulfill our sexual urges. We think we have to date to fulfill our desires. “Worldly” dating is being with someone who is not your friend with the intent of being physically romantic. “Real” dating is two people of the opposite sex who get together with the intent of knowing one another better. In relationships, buys are physical and girls are emotional. Future Living: HOW CAN I HONOR MY FRIEND? Romans 12:10 tells us to have respect for one another. We need to quit being selfish. We should hang out together. We should date our friends because they want to protect you and want what is best for you too.
Three Actions to Consider…
1. Ask the RIGHT QUESTIONS. What is the best choose for my relationship with God? What is the best choice for my future?
2. Establish some BOUNDARIES. Establish these before you get physical. How can we remain pure while dating?
3. Find some ACCOUNTABILITY. Find a close friend or an adult who will check up o you and who you will be honest with in your conversation. Ask this individual to keep you accountable for your actions.